June is Pride Month, and across New York City, rainbow flags are flying high, drag shows are selling out, and queer joy is taking center stage. At Sentient Psychotherapy, we’re proud to celebrate LGBTQ+ identities, expression, resistance, and belonging. But we also know that Pride is not just a party. Pride is rooted in the truths of our identities, the complexity of our inner worlds, and the hard-won right to take up space.
We also acknowledge that visibility alone does not equate to safety, healing, or liberation. So many of the LGBTQ+ clients we see at Sentient carry wounds from a world that told them—explicitly or implicitly—that they are wrong, broken, or not enough. But here’s what we believe: You are not a problem to be solved.
Trying endlessly to figure out what’s “wrong” with you is a losing battle. It only reinforces the implicit message that you’re inherently flawed, when in reality, the problem is often the systems and expectations placed upon you – not who you are.
You’ve been doing your best. Truly. Early in life you developed strategies to survive, to fit in, to stay safe. Maybe you learned to stay quiet. Maybe you overachieved. Maybe you rebelled. Maybe you learned to read the room before you learned to read a book.
Those coping strategies were brilliant. They helped you get through.
But survival strategies often lose their utility over time. Life as an adult brings new challenges, new relationships, new risks. And the strategies that helped us stay afloat as children or teens can become limitations in adulthood. What once protected you may now keep you stuck.
At Sentient, we don’t view mental health as something separate from the cultural, social, and familial forces that shape us. We practice from a multiculturally-informed lens that honors your lived experiences—whether you’re navigating the complexities of queer identity, healing from trauma, or simply trying to understand why you feel the way you do. We hold space for your full humanity.
Here are 5 research-backed ways to strengthen self-love and begin shifting your inner world from a place of survival to one of healing and integration:
- 1. Practice Self-Compassion
Dr. Kristin Neff’s research on self-compassion shows that treating ourselves with kindness when we fail or struggle leads to greater resilience, lower anxiety, and more motivation than harsh self-criticism. Try gently naming your emotional experience—”this is hard” or “I’m feeling ashamed”—and remind yourself that you’re not alone in it. - 2. Interrupt the Inner Critic
That voice in your head that tells you you’re not good enough? It didn’t start with you. Often, it’s an internalized echo of cultural, parental, or social expectations. Start to notice the tone of your inner dialogue. Is it punitive? Shaming? Would you say those same things to a friend? - 3. Engage in Identity-Affirming Therapy
Research shows that LGBTQ+ individuals experience higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicidal ideation—but that access to affirming therapy significantly reduces these risks. Working with a therapist who affirms your identity can help you untangle shame and reclaim your truth. - 4. Replace Comparison with Curiosity
Social comparison can be toxic, especially in a culture obsessed with performance and perfection. Instead of asking, “Why am I not like them?” try, “What do I need right now?” or “What does this feeling want me to know?” Curiosity is a doorway to change. - 5. Name the System, Not Just the Symptom
Instead of pathologizing your reactions, ask what your environment may be reinforcing. Are you navigating homophobia, racism, classism, ableism, or any intersection of oppression? Externalizing the systemic source of distress can reduce self-blame and strengthen self-love.
Therapeutic work in this context often involves exploring and challenging long-held beliefs rooted in early conditioning. Beliefs like, “I am bad,” or “If people really knew me, they’d leave.” These assumptions, while understandable, are distortions that therapy helps surface and deconstruct. As we unpack the origin of these inner narratives, we open space for more authentic self-concepts to emerge, ones rooted in dignity, wholeness, and possibility.
And while cultural forces can be overwhelming, the inner world remains a sacred space—one that can be reclaimed, protected, and transformed. At Sentient, our goal is to support you in doing just that: creating a relationship with yourself that is kinder, more honest, and more sustainable than the one you inherited.
If you’re ready to begin or return to this work, our team is here. You don’t have to do it alone.